Memo TO: CLearly Kombucha PR Team
SUBJECT: MY Possible VP Nomination
FROM : LuCY
Given the flurry of recent calls, press now understands the political brilliance of a LUcy VP nomination: counters the dog-on-the-roof story; although I am pedigreed, I’m mixed color; and I am best preparEd to get in the mud on the trail.
Please do your best to keep all mention of my possible nomination as VP under wraps; it is unseemly to appear to be campaigning for the nom and will only work against me.
My suggestion is to reply to all press inquiries with a statement that the rumor is silly because LucY is constitutionally ineligible to serve. (Of course this is not correct- Article 2, Sec 1 Clause 5, and the 12th Amendment refer only to the qualifications of a PERSON to serve; as our strict constructionalists would agree- This does not apply to DOGS)
PS – Press references to PAW-lenty are code for a certain four-legged intern……
Our election lawyer sent me the following:
US Const- Article 2 sec 1 clause 5 No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.
12th Amendment US Const But no person constitutionally ineligible to the office of President shall be eligible to that of Vice-President of the United States