Memo regarding rumors of my possible VP nomination

Memo TO: CLearly Kombucha PR Team

SUBJECT: MY Possible VP Nomination


Given the flurry of recent calls, press now understands the political brilliance of a LUcy VP nomination: counters the dog-on-the-roof story; although I am pedigreed, I’m mixed color; and I am best preparEd to get in the mud on the trail.

Please do your best to keep all mention of my possible nomination as VP under wraps; it is unseemly to appear to be campaigning for the nom and will only work against me.

My suggestion is to reply to all press inquiries with a statement that the rumor is silly because LucY is constitutionally ineligible to serve. (Of course this is not correct- Article 2, Sec 1 Clause 5, and the 12th Amendment refer only to the qualifications of a PERSON to serve; as our strict constructionalists would agree- This does not apply to DOGS)

PS – Press references to PAW-lenty are code for a certain four-legged intern……


Our election lawyer sent me the following:

US Const- Article 2 sec 1 clause 5 No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.

12th Amendment US Const But no person constitutionally ineligible to the office of President shall be eligible to that of Vice-President of the United States


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One response to “Memo regarding rumors of my possible VP nomination

  1. Pingback: Back to Work | lucyckintern

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